How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones

Woman in a coffee shop wearing headphones and types on her laptop



There are certain behaviors that clearly indicate the desire not to be bothered. Assuming a Heisman stance to block someone advancing on you is one. Having your nose buried in a book is another. Probably most common is the decision to cover your ears in public using headphones.

Dating blogger Dan Bacon wrote a post called “How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones,” and his advice couldn’t be more wrong-headed. In his 1,500-word screed Bacon writes, “If a woman wearing headphones is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover), she will usually be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her.”

No. Women wear headphones in public so we don’t have to talk to anyone, as all these women will tell you.

Bacon continues:

When she looks at you, smile, point to her headphones and confidently ask, ‘Can you take off your headphones for a minute?’ as you pretend to be taking headphones off your head, so she fully understands what you mean.

I would never coach a client to do this because it’s a setup for failure. It practically screams, “I’d really like to bother you. Can I bother you?” The headphone-wearing woman is interested in whatever she is listening to or focusing on. It shows a lack of respect to intrude upon her space when she’s put a wall between herself and the world, and disrespect is a turn-off, guys.

Common Mistakes That Guys Make When Approaching Women Who Are Wearing Headphones

  1. Approaching her
  2. Making mime moves to get her to remove the headphones
  3. Not respecting her disinterest by trying to force a conversation
  4. Escalating the situation after she’s made her lack of interest known

I want you to get lots of dates, fellas, and have a great love life, too, but Bacon’s advice isn’t the way to do it. If a woman is interested in meeting someone, she will make herself look available by using body language that indicates interest.

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