Don’t.
Seriously.
There are certain behaviors that clearly indicate the desire not to be bothered. Assuming a Heisman stance to block someone advancing on you is one. Having your nose buried in a book is another. Probably most common is the decision to cover your ears in public using headphones.
Dating blogger Dan Bacon wrote a post called “How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones,” and his advice couldn’t be more wrong-headed. In his 1,500-word screed Bacon writes, “If a woman wearing headphones is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend (or even a new lover), she will usually be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her.”
No. Women wear headphones in public so we don’t have to talk to anyone, as all these women will tell you.
Bacon continues:
When she looks at you, smile, point to her headphones and confidently ask, ‘Can you take off your headphones for a minute?’ as you pretend to be taking headphones off your head, so she fully understands what you mean.
I would never coach a client to do this because it’s a setup for failure. It practically screams, “I’d really like to bother you. Can I bother you?” The headphone-wearing woman is interested in whatever she is listening to or focusing on. It shows a lack of respect to intrude upon her space when she’s put a wall between herself and the world, and disrespect is a turn-off, guys.
Common Mistakes That Guys Make When Approaching Women Who Are Wearing Headphones
- Approaching her
- Making mime moves to get her to remove the headphones
- Not respecting her disinterest by trying to force a conversation
- Escalating the situation after she’s made her lack of interest known
I want you to get lots of dates, fellas, and have a great love life, too, but Bacon’s advice isn’t the way to do it. If a woman is interested in meeting someone, she will make herself look available by using body language that indicates interest.