Guys, don’t give away your power

a man flexes his bicep while he and a woman gaze at each other

When you have the chance to improve your life, do you leave the decision-making to someone else? Power is the ability to create a desired result in your life, and you have it in you to shape the life you want. Stop giving your power away to someone else.

Make empowered decisions

young man in a shirt and tie listens to a woman speak to him in a coffee shop

Want to see her again? Make an empowered decision.

Here’s a common scenario: You’re working on your laptop at a coffee shop, sitting next to an attractive woman you don’t know. You turn to her and make some small talk. She even takes her earbuds out to continue the conversation. After a few minutes you realize you need to leave, but you want to see her again. What do you do?

A) Offer her your business card OR
B) Ask for her phone number

If you chose A, you’re giving away your power in this situation. She may call; she may not. By taking her phone number instead (or additionally), you now possess the ability to reach her.

I asked a group of men about the situation above, and for those who chose A (give her your business card), their reasoning fell along these lines:

  • “It was a good way to gauge interest.”
  • “It’s a way to project interest but not look pressed.”
  • “It puts the ball in her court to make the first move.”

Their responses are what giving into fear and taking the easy way out sound like. When you don’t ask for what you want, you give your power away. But every time you make a decision that gives you more opportunities for the result you want (e.g., seeing the coffee shop girl again), you become more powerful.

Keep and increase your personal power

Here’s how you keep and increase your personal power: Take action. You want her phone number so you can arrange to see her again, so ask for it: “Hey, I’d like to continue this conversation with you. Can I call you?”

If you’re not happy with your life, you have the ability to change your circumstances. When you have an opportunity to create an outcome in your favor, take it.

In what ways have you given your power away and kept yourself from having the life you want?

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